How a mentor can help you achieve career success
Reading time 12 Minutes
It was November 2021, the working year was coming to an end and I was freshly accepted into a senior position in my team that I, by choice, decided to pursue despite setting off all the imposter syndrome bells in my mind! My analytical brain ran through all the “what-if’s” - what if I’m not good enough, what if I’ve taken on more than I could handle, what if this position was better suited to the more confident, blue-eyed, longer-tenured girl, what if I’m doing this whole thing wrong? Sound familiar? We’ve all had those repetitive sessions - it’s confusing, it’s hard and it can spiral you out of control! At that moment, I had the realisation that I could no longer walk my professional journey alone - this chapter of my story required a professional editor. Someone who could actively be part of crafting and gently guiding my narrative. After a few hours of writing, and furiously backspacing, I eventually hit send on an email to a Vice President in my company that went something like this:
Subject Line: Mentoring - Hello, I'm [insert name]
I'm reaching out to you, quite nervously, to find out if you would be interested in meeting with me about mentoring. I work in the marketing team as a [insert title] and have been with [insert company name] for just over a year.
I've witnessed your impact and involvement in areas of our business which align to my values - I have just become the Global Communication Chair for [insert employee resource group] and spotted your name as Leadership sponsor, and have seen you step into other areas of the business in a truly admirable way and in such a short space of time. I was also present for the [insert event name] that you did a while back and I loved your energy, your perspective and the personality you brought to live discussion.
This is pretty new territory for me, so I'm stepping into this being curious and open to hearing your thoughts on whether you would be interested in walking this journey with me.
What I didn’t realise in that moment is that there is no right or wrong way to reach out for support. If you are anything like me - an overthinker by day and an extreme overthinker by night - you can easily slip into a routine of reaching out in the most perfect of perfect ways - but on this day, I chose to lean into my instincts. I was ready to be a student.
The arrival of a Career Sherpa
My heart was racing *queue analytical brain voice* - “What have I done?”; “What if she doesn’t like me?”; “What if I disappoint her?”; “What if she doesn’t respond?”. I received a warm reply in less than an hour and in that moment, I took a deep breath and allowed the slow release of oxygen to quiet down the conflicting voices and calmly flow through my body. At that moment, I knew that I was exactly where I needed to be. The self-acknowledgement of needing support was the best and most important action I have taken in my career. I knew very little at that point in time about a mentee/mentor relationship and what the expectations of the process were, but I knew I was ready for this step in my professional development journey. I felt a rush of relief of finally choosing to accept the help, support & guidance which was a massive personal shift for me, as it was deeply intertwined with intersectional identities that were informed by my culture, my childhood & my adulthood - versions of me that were anchored by perfectionism, independence and a fighting spirit that rejected support because it was a nod to weakness. It took me 30 years to realise that this journey of life is one that can, if willing, be beautifully co-created. My career sherpa had arrived.
The role of vulnerability in a Mentoring journey
I had little to no expectations on the practicalities of mentoring. My perspective was fresh, my mind was open - I was a gooey ball of goop waiting to be stretched, shaped and refined. I was, however, clear on my intention of needing help. I knew that the journey ahead needed a gentle hand to guide my thoughts and actions. I instinctively felt (although admittedly this was perhaps the hardest part) that I needed to bring my whole, messy, vulnerable self to the experience, because the success of being mentored requires you to show up and be fully committed to the learning experience. There is no time for ego in this process - something that is not often talked about or acknowledged. You have to let go of any preconceived notions you had about yourself, be willing and open to receive the guidance, and in many moments, listen to some hard and honest feedback. Your vulnerability and openness to the process unlocks your ability to experience a successful mentoring journey. It’s a personal commitment to yourself, your career and your journey and nothing about that is easy.
Setting clear intentions: Communicating goals to your Mentor
There are some really practical ways that a mentor can help you achieve the career success that you’re looking for, however it’s really important to understand that this experience is not a beautiful bejewelled one-size fits all kaftan. It’s on you to be clear on what you need and desire to get out of the process. It’s important to effectively communicate your intentions to your mentor so that they are able to help you achieve your desired goals. So what does this look like? Well these were some of the focus areas I shared with my mentor at the beginning of our journey:
Building self-confidence: I felt that I had a lot working against me; I’m petite and brown-skinned, I wear giant glasses, I’m not the loudest voice in the room, I’m introverted, I struggle with anxiety and imposter syndrome, I am not a fashionista and confrontation sends me running! I was determined to find practical ways to start leading, communicating and showing up with more confidence.
Understanding my leadership style: Our stories are layered with multiple identities that are formed from the time we leave the womb. There’s culture, religion, family, friendship circles and life partners who all play a role in influencing your personal style, which cascades into your professional style. I was curious about understanding leadership styles with a goal of being able to craft my own style so I could lead and influence more effectively and impactfully, in life and the workplace.
Expanding business context: I wanted to learn and understand all the facets of our business with the aim of being able to build my business acumen to strengthen my knowledge and context to be more functionally optimal in my role. But to also sharpen my ability to problem-solve in a more collaborative and rounded way.
Networking & Community: Best-selling author of “Inclusion on Purpose” - Ruchika Tulshyan wrote the following in her LinkedIn article titled “7 Leadership Lessons in 7 years”:
“Relationships matter. Community matters. When I graduated in 2016, I said that your network is your net worth, when I was graduation speaker that year (the first speech I’d ever made in my life!) I was wrong. Your COMMUNITY is your net worth. Networks focus on deliverables and tasks and opportunities, while communities focus on relationships with people. Every relationship that you form and nurture has a significant impact on you and can be the difference between success and loneliness. I’ve learned to never underestimate the power of investing in community.”
Her sentiment deeply resonated with me because until this point in my career, I tried to place my effort on networking (although I was often unsuccessful mainly due to my deep-rooted introvertedness) and whilst I knew it was important - it also exhausted me. So I see-sawed between loneliness & inauthentic networking. In my reflection, I realised I was approaching networking incorrectly, which is perhaps why it felt like an ingenuine exercise to me. Further to that, I was yearning to curate a community of people. I didn’t know or understand the difference between networking and community building, but I could instinctively feel that the approach and objectives were different and I wanted to know and explore this more with my mentor.
Your intention to seek out a mentor may look and sound different to mine - it should be different. (Read more here on different types of mentors you need throughout your career) We’re all seeking to be successful in the careers that we choose and success is defined differently for everyone. You might, for example, need the support to build out a visible career pathway and require the tools to help you achieve your Senior Vice President of Finance dreams, whilst someone else might require a mentor to support them through decision-making within their functional role to help them figure out how to work best with their boss or new team. Whatever it is, it’s important for your heart, mind and gut to be aligned because that will guide you towards identifying a mentor best suited to your season in life.
Practical benefits of having a Mentor
The success of your mentorship journey is yours and yours alone. If you fail to show up, don’t expect your mentor to show up. If you give 25%, expect your mentor to give 25%. I made a commitment to myself and the process, and put in the effort to make it the most successful and impactful experience and the results spoke for itself. In the year of having a mentor - this is what success looked like for me:
I was promoted into two new positions, both of which sat outside my immediate function’s usual career growth trajectory. These promotions edged me closer to achieving my personal financial goals, which was a huge win for me.
I was approached by another senior leader in the business to co-lead a mentorship circle in the business. Being able to pay my experience forward was a massive personal achievement.
I established a deeper network of cross-functional stakeholders across the organisation that enabled me to operate in a more deliberate and impactful way.
I built the confidence and the language to be able to lead important discussions and conversations relating to people and culture in the organisation.
I developed a personal resilience that allowed me to navigate a large company restructure and in doing so, I was able to support my team and fellow colleagues in a more impactful and meaningful way.
The practical benefits of having a mentor has been an incredible blessing, but more so, the personal benefits - those that can’t be seen but only felt, are simply indescribable. I often wish that more women would recognise that it’s okay to reach out for help. It’s okay to seek guidance. Career pathways are both visible and invisible and regardless of what your pathway is or looks like, you don’t need to take this road trip on your own. In fact, having a human GPS riding along in the passenger seat, with your favourite song playing in the background, can be an absolutely memorable adventure. So what do you need to do to prepare yourself for the mentoring experience?
Start by looking inward to determine your goals and needs: Clarify your goals and the specific areas in which you would like guidance and support. Identifying your needs will help you narrow down the type of mentor you're seeking.
Chat to your girlfriends or reach out to your network: Explore your professional and personal networks, including colleagues, friends, or industry contacts, and ask if they can recommend someone who could be a potential mentor for you. They may be aware of individuals who have the expertise and experience you seek.
Be Brave & Bold: Approach potential mentors directly. If you come across someone who inspires you or possesses the qualities and expertise you seek in a mentor, be bold, lean into your instincts and approach them directly. Craft a concise message explaining why you admire their work and why you believe they would be an excellent mentor for you. Be respectful of their time and understand that not everyone may be available or interested in taking on a mentee.
Relationships matter: Consider individuals you already have a professional or personal relationship with who could potentially serve as mentors. It could be a former boss, supervisor, teacher, or someone in your existing network. Reach out to them, express your interest in their guidance, and see if they would be open to a mentorship relationship.
Making a personal commitment to growth
Reflecting on what my life was like before a mentor - everything from my low self-confidence, through to the lack of a supportive community, being shy, quiet, and unsure about myself - I feel deeply proud of the woman I am becoming. My professional and personal story of self-discovery has only just begun and I feel incredibly blessed to have received the support and guidance along the way. My professional focus areas, interests and skills continue to evolve with the seasons, and I know that as I continue to grow, so will my needs and areas of support. I was once told “when the learner is ready, the teacher will arrive” and as life presents me with new lessons, some tougher than others, my teachers have and will continue to change, which is an exciting testament to the personal growth and transformation that can take place in our lives if we are open, ready and willing to accept where we are in life.
What season do you find yourself in? Are you ready to make a personal commitment to yourself and your journey? Are you ready to take a bold step forward? Let your heart be open to the gifts and lessons of life - embrace them and allow them to transform your personal and professional story, it’s such a worthwhile journey.
