Things in your nightstand to make solo sexytime 100 times more fun

Reading time: 6 Minutes 46 Seconds

I had my first experience with sex toys in a seedy Amsterdam store in the Red Light district at the age of 21. I was visiting for a friend’s wedding, and the group decided it would be a fun cultural experience to explore everything Amsterdam had to offer. Needless to say, I experienced a lot of different emotions within the span of 5 minutes, interestingly enough, embarrassment wasn’t one of them - rather pure intrigue and curiosity ensued. I grew up reading the Women’s Health and Cosmopolitan sex columns, but making contact with the real deal was something quite different. I remember recognising some of the products I’d seen from the magazines in this store, along with admiring a young couple shopping together for a toy - they were French, so I couldn’t understand a thing, but from their tone of voice, I could tell it was going well.  

I still remember the day I ordered my first toy as if it was yesterday. I had just turned 30, and seeing that I found myself in a worldwide pandemic sans any viable dating options, I made a resolution to become a bit more sexually adventurous in the new year. As I had spent my twenties on education and career growth, I declared (to myself) that this new decade would be for travelling and being more open to trying new things. It was New Year’s Eve of 2020 and I spent it with some dear friends at their house, clinking champagne glasses, listening to some good music, and having delicious snacks, all whilst engaging in deep conversation about everything from surrogacy to the merits of owning a cabin in the forest. During one of the few lulls, I picked up my phone and, out of habit, opened my Gmail app. Only to find an email from Matildas (a discreet online adult sex shop, but tasteful and more upmarket) featuring a New Year’s deal for any purchases happening before midnight on the 1st of January 2021. I browsed discreetly whilst my glass was being filled once more, and clicked the “add to cart” button.

It wasn’t until the next morning that I actually proceeded to “checkout”, as drunk me isn’t good with remembering credit card information. I’ve since acquired a few more toys, and even once had to return a faulty product due to underutilisation (it’s true!) - a horror story in trying to get the return couriers to register the correct location. Without having to explicitly say that the contents of said package I’m trying to dispatch, contain a sex toy - all whilst my once Youth Pastor was within earshot! It ended up turning into the most hilarious tale in the end, and I received a brand new product within the next three days. So, as a serious singleton, here are some of the must-have products I recommend for making solo-sexytime even more fun.

Start here if you’re unsure

The Mini Swan Wand by Matildas is great to start off with, its bright pink and retails for R 1,295, and it’s great for couple foreplay, or by yourself after a long day at work and a glass or two of your favourite wine varietal. It’s small, fitting into the palm of your hand, but the vibrations are oh-so mighty - I only found out it has varying levels the other day…that should tell you all you need to know.

Graduate to clitoral stimulation

It’s a known fact that 75% of women can’t climax through penetrative sex alone*, and need some kind of clitoral stimulation. My ex had a dad bod, and his fupa was always in the way, so this toy is by far my favourite for bringing you just close enough to the edge so you crack beautifully, over and over again - but not too soon. Introducing the Womanizer Starlet 3 Clitoral Vibrator from Matildas, available in 5 different colours including bright pink, it retails for R 1,599, and let me tell you - one charge lasts quite long too. This little minx uses “pleasure air technology” at five different speeds and intensities. I had never experienced a clitoral orgasm before acquiring this toy two years ago, and goodness me - had I known what I was missing out on, I’d go back in time and give myself one for my 21st birthday!

Don’t forget the essentials

There’s an acronym “DFTL” that stands for “don’t forget the lube,” and this is true even with solo sexytime. You don’t want to end up with an injury after an exercise that was supposed to help clear your mind and relieve stress, headaches, and all kinds of tension! Everyone probably has their favourite kind, but mine is a water-based one, as it doesn’t upset your PH balance resulting in thrush or a UTI (urinary tract infection). Another thing is getting a good toy cleaner - one that’s water-based so that it doesn’t interfere with the materials your toy is made of, in addition to being alcohol and perfume-free. The Pjur Toy Cleaner from Matildas is quite effective. Another thing I only found after my breakup earlier this year, is the GoGirl Clitoral Enhancing Spray (tingle gel for short) from Matildas. It creates a warm and tingly feeling, and I promise you it brings you to your knees in half the time it would normally take for you to reach that special place.

The g-spot vibrator

I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but a woman can experience up to seven different kinds of orgasms** ranging from Clitoral, Nipple, G-Spot, Anal, U-Spot, A-Spot, and finally a Vaginal Orgasm, that’s why we need to be kind to ourselves and tell our partners to slow down, because your body is a complex wonderland and all of the synapses firing are probably trying to decide where to explode first - and nothing’s going to happen if you’re not relaxed, in addition to your partner being consistent, patient and focused on your pleasure too. For solo sexytime, though, I recommend the Trysta Rolling G-Spot Vibrator, currently sold out - a testament to its prowess! Before acquiring this bright pink pleasure treasure, I had never experienced the elusive g-spot orgasm - I thought it was a myth, and now I’m writing an article about it. In short, this product lives up to its name, every. damn. time.

Solo sexytime is supposed to be fun

Get out of your own head, pour yourself a glass of wine or whatever you choose to drink to unwind, put on your favourite tunes, and start exploring. You won’t know what you like until you try it, and so far, acquiring my collection has proven to be the most enriching and educational experience. I can’t explain it, but I’ve gained so much body confidence along the way too, and I’m much more assertive now when it comes to sex and asking for what I want. Remember 1. In life, nothing’s a one-way street, and 2. Clean and charge your toys regularly. And 3. Life is lived in all its magic in the in-betweens - the in-between season of waiting for a new job to come through, the in-between season of getting over someone who shattered your heart, before you feel ready to pick yourself up and try again. Live presently within the magic of life through the in-betweens. And 4. Happy solo sexytiming :) 

References:

Ishak, R., 2020. Hello Giggles. Yes, There are 7 types of female orgasms - so it’s time to get busy.

Andersen, CH., 2019. Reader’s Digest. Why so many women don’t orgasm.